


Mix Tape

by Gemology



Category: 009; (Webcomic)
Genre: Best Friends, College, Epic Friendship, F/F, Feelings, Feels, Female Characters, Female Friendship, Female Protagonist, Female Relationships, Female-Centric, Friendship, Friendship/Love, High School, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Discovery, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Summer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-08-27 03:22:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8385286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemology/pseuds/Gemology
Summary: Nico is really gay.





	1. Are You Gonna Be My Girl

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [009;](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/224959) by GlitchSoda. 



It was the summer after Marzipan had graduated high school. Nico, two years younger, had just finished sophomore year. But, she had a fresh driver's license in her pocket, and 1996 Subaru Legacy Outback she'd inherited from a relative. The two friends were free to do as they pleased, at least in the few months before Marzipan started college and Nico went back to high school. Nico was mature for her age, and Marzipan was comparably immature for theirs, so the two made a good pair.

There were bits of Marzipan that Nico couldn't quite figure out. Marzipan would make remarks about being gay and having gay feelings, but at the same time they were openly aromantic and asexual. That was all well and good, Nico could respect that.

But there were times when Nico wasn't sure if Marzipan was trying to flirt with her, or if she was just so naive and inexperienced that she didn't understand the implications of her actions. Maybe Marz was just being an affectionate friend, there was nothing wrong with that. But how could Nico be sure that was the case, that Marzipan really didn't want more?

Nico had a crush. She'd admit that in a heartbeat. And her crush happened to be on her best friend Marzipan, who had been very clear on their stance about dating: It wasn't for them. Nico did everything she could to respect her friend's feelings. But she also knew that people could change, that maybe Marzipan didn't want to date because no one had ever asked or because they'd had a bad experience. And yet, Nico didn't want to ask them out, because she didn't want to invalidate their feelings. On the other hand, Nico wasn't sure if Marzipan was trying to send signals that they WANTED to be asked out. It was all very muddled, and it left Nico confused as to what she should do.

Their summer ritual was simple - sleep in on the summer days, and once they were both awake, Nico would come get Marzipan. Then they'd figure out what to do with the rest of the day. This usually consisted of heading to Cortez Park and chilling out on the grass or under the picnic shelters. Then, in the heat of the day, they'd hit up the local Sonic Drive-In on 28th Drive for cheap happy hour Slushes. From there they might hit up the mall, or head back to the park, or just go for a drive. What Arizona lacked in green foliage, it made up for in awesome rock structures and not often explored hiking trails. Nico and Marzipan spent many warm summer nights lying on the hood of Nico's car in the middle of the desert, far outside the city, staring up at the stars. After which they'd head to the Denny's on 7th (the gay one) for their traditional 2am trip.

The two friends spent a lot of time at Cortez Park, hanging out on the grass that somehow managed to stay green despite the 100+ degree summer days. The shade of the trees didn't offer much protection, but it was still better than being directly in the sun. From their usual spot, they could watch over the small lake to see if any ducks or other birds came by. It was peaceful, for the most part. Being a park, there were often children around, but they preferred the playground - which was part of the reason Nico and Marzipan had chosen a spot that was not near it.

On this summer day, Nico had been quieter than usual. Marzipan was never good at giving advice or asking others about problems, so they hoped that Nico would eventually come out and say what was bothering her. The small talk in the car had been brief, and Marzipan hoped the rest of the day wouldn't be as awkward as the car ride over here had felt.

The heat of the day tended to make the both of them drowsy, even though they'd both had time to adequately sleep in the comfort of their own beds. For a while, they both laid in the grass, eyes closed and silent. Finally, Marzipan opened their eyes, long enough grasp Nico's had in their own before resuming the meditative state.

"Hey Marz." Nico said, almost immediately after feeling the familiar touch. "We're friends, right?"

Marzipan turned her head to look at Nico, who still had her eyes closed and hadn't moved. She was gorgeous, picturesque in the dapples of sunlight that made their way through the leaves. "Yeah dude. Why wouldn't we be?"

Nico ignored the question. "And that's all we are?" she pressed.

"I'm not sure, um, what you're getting at?" They ran their hand through their hair, a common quirk with Marz.

Nico opened her own eyes and turned to look at Marzi. "I know that we've talked about how you feel towards other people, like, romanticly. I know that you said that you don't, really. And I don't want anything I say to invalidate your feelings. You mean the world to me, Marz. I'd never want to hurt you."

She took a deep breath and paused before revealing her questions. "So I'm asking, as a friend… Do you like me as more than a friend? Do you think you ever could?"

Marzipan pulled their hand away, sitting up and pulling their knees to their chest. They stared down at the grass, watching the blades move lazily every time there was a hint of wind. "I don't know. Some days I feel like I want to hug you and never let go, or kiss you and never stop. Other times, those things sound constricting and maybe even disgusting. I don't know why I can't just make up my mind. I'm sorry that I'm like this. I'm sorry that I'm broken-" Marzipan shoved the palms of their hands into their eyes, trying to stop the inevitable tears that had forced their way to the surface.

"Marz, hey." Nico sat up and scooted over to place a tentative hand on their back. "It's not a big deal. Maybe I made it seem like it is, I'm sorry. I'm not asking you to make a decision about anything. I've just been… confused. Seems maybe you are too."

They nodded and sniffled. "I don't know if I want to be more than friends. I always thought I didn't want to date anyone, but some days I feel like that's stupid, like how could I NOT want to do all that lovey-dovey stuff all the time? But then it just goes away and I don't know if the feeling ever meant anything, or if it's just a residual feeling from the pressure of living in a heteronormative heavy environment."

Nico moved the hand from Marzipans back to hold their hand instead. "It's okay, Marzipan. I just didn't want you trying to get more from me, and me being too stupid to see it. Whatever we have, we don't need to use labels. We can take things one day at a time."

Marzipan finished wiping their eyes. "Thanks, Nico. I'm sorry that I can't just figure this shit out."

"There's nothing to be sorry for. People are always changing. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with you." She gave a reassuring squeeze to Marzipan's hand, and they finally smiled.

Though Nico felt relieved to have some kind of answer, Marzipan still had a knot in their stomach, that continued to eat away at them. No amount of assurance from Nico could fully settle the turmoil within them.


	2. Tear In My Heart

The summer wore on, but nothing really changed between the pair of friends. They spent idle days together, shooting the shit and passing time. That's how summers were. Silently, they were both trying to enjoy what was left of their free time together, before everything changed in the fall. Marzipan would be at college and Nico would still be in high school. What would happen to their friendship? Hanging out together would be much more difficult with their conflicting schedules.

For Nico, this was good. She wouldn't get to see Marzipan as often, which was a bummer, for sure. But it also meant that it would be that much easier to ignore the feelings that had been steadily growing towards her friend since they met. Nico respected that Marzipan didn't return her affections, but that didn't suddenly stop her from having them.

The desert is hot, and the summer only gets hotter. But, as it wore on, Nico started to notice something peculiar about her friend Marzipan. Where she had already exchanged jeans and sweaters for tank tops and shorts, Marz hadn't seemed to get the memo. It was as hot a summer as ever, and even though they never seemed to be warm enough during the colder months of the year, in the Arizona summer it's impossible to be cold while outside.

It was during one of their semi-routine trips to Sonic, sitting in Nico's hot car (the shade did very little to drop the temperature), that her suspicions got the better of her. "Marz, why don't you take off your jacket, it's hot as hell."

The sweaters weren't the only thing Nico had noticed. Marzipan seemed more distant the last few weeks. It had all happened after their talk about emotions and romance. Nico had gone over that conversation in her mind dozens of times. She was sure she'd said something wrong and stupid to make Marz act this way. She should have just kept her feelings to herself. But love makes everybody do stupid things, and Nico had thought there might be the slightest glimmer of hope that Marz felt the same. So she'd done a half-assed confession and now here they were - awkward silences between them, Marz staring out the window more often, and this weird thing with the sweaters. It was like she was trying to close herself off and hide away.

Not taking Nico's advice, Marzipan instead tried to pull her sleeves down even lower, being extra certain to cover every inch of her arms. "I don't want to." They replied, in a defensive tone that sounded like it belonged to a grouchy teenager talking to their parents.

Nico sighed, tapping her hands on the steering wheel as she thought about what to say. "I'm sorry. I really messed things up." She looked out her own window while Marzipan looked out theirs. "Listen, I told you there's no pressure, and I really meant it. I'm really trying here, Marz, to not let these stupid emotions change anything about us." Nico paused, opening and closing and making disgruntled sighs as she tried to put her apology into proper words. "Fuck! Just… please Marz. I don't know how to fix this. You have to tell me!" She looked back at her friend, anxious for an answer.

Marzipan looked down at her lap, fiddling with her hands. There were several painful moments of silence between them., before they finally spoke. "It's not you, Nico. There's just shit happening right now, okay?"

Nico puzzled over the response. If it wasn't her fault, why was Marz still so distant? "So tell me about "shit" then. You know you can trust me, right? Friends are supposed to be there for each other. I want to be here for you, okay dude?"

"Yeah." Marz replied, almost half-heartedly. They seemed to be thinking, so Nico didn't press any further, letting her friend be alone with their thoughts.

Finally, they rolled up one sleeve, showing off a criss-cross of marks in no particular pattern.

"What the fuck is that Marz?!" Nico reached for the offending arm to get a closer look.

"Nothing!" They pulled their arm back before Nico could grab it, pulling down their sleeve quickly to hide the injuries.

"Who did that to you?" Nico looked angry, like she was ready to fuck up the motherfucker who had dared lay a hand on Marzipan.

"Nobody, Jesus!" They crossed their arms and looked sour.

"So that's the shit you were talking about?" Nico surmised.

"Yeah." Marzipan huffed.

"Are you going to tell me what the fuck happened?" Nico's anger didn't fade, although it obviously wasn't directed at her friend.

Marz hesitated, but they'd already revealed the secret, so they didn't really have a choice now but to explain. "College is coming up . It's just been stressful. I'm going in alone. You won't be there. And this is the start of having to be an adult. If I fuck this up, if I fail, it could mess up my whole life!" They pulled their legs up to their chest, burying their head in their knees. "I'm scared as shit, Nico!"

Nico quickly put it all together. "So you did this to yourself? To what? Cope?" So now she knew the who, and the why, but it didn't mean she understood it.

Her passenger shrugged. For some reason, the many cuts adorning their arms- Nico assumed both looked similar- didn't seem to really concern Marz, beyond being something they thought they had to hide from their best friend. "Jesus shit Marz! You have to knock this off."

Marzipan looked up. Nico had expected tears, but their face was instead painted with defiance. "Why? It's not any of your business anyway!"

"Because I don't want to lose you!" Nico slammed her fists against the steering wheel, staring down her hands as she fought back tears. Her friend was obviously suffering, and though Nico was often calm and collected, this sudden revelation from Marz was really freaking her out. She didn't understand it, and she didn't know how to help. She desperately wanted to have the answers, but Marz had always been dodgy about their feelings, and this situation was no exception.

"It's fine, Nico." They stated, that same defensive tone they'd taken earlier layered in their voice. "I'm not going to… I mean, that's not what I want."

Nico sighed with relief. Marzipan may not have been the most open person about their emotions, but Nico knew when to trust them. "Well then, can you explain it? Why?" Nico pressed on, still anxious to understand.

Again, Marzipan took their time to think. Nico was externally patient, but internally impatient. She resisted the urge to tap on her steering wheel, not wanting to make Marz feel rushed. It was only a few minutes before they replied with a simple answer. "Nicotine."

"What?" Nico turned to face Marzipan, who still wasn't looking up.

A mass of words suddenly started tumbling from their mouth. "You smoke. You _need_ it. Is it good for you? No. Does it make you feel good? Yeah… yeah it does. Do you always think about it in depth before you light up? Do you think hard about it every single time? Or does it just come automatically most of the time? Do you question it? Do you think about stopping? And does it still hurt afterwards?"

Nico knew the answers she'd give to all those questions were the same ones Marzipan would offer about her struggle. It made a bit more sense, but at the same time it didn't. Then again, there was nothing healthy about smoking either. And skin healed a lot easier than lungs. So who was really doing the worse harm to their body?

"What can I do to help? I still want to. I'm still your friend." Nico wasn't sure exactly what kind of comforting words to use, but she was doing her best.

"Nothing. I mean… I don't know. I feel like I don't know anything. I'm sorry." They slid their legs back down to the floor, staring down at their feet.

"Hey, Marz. There's nothing to apologize for. But please know that I'm here for you." She placed a hand upon their shoulder, which didn't even seem to register.

"Yeah. Okay." They said, but it didn't sound like they believed it.

 

*** * ***

 

Nico drove slowly down the roads home. When they turned down a dirt road, Nico hit a small pothole. "Fucking hell, isn't filling these the kind of shit tax dollars are supposed to pay for?" She waited for some kind of response from Marzipan, but when one wasn't offered, she glanced over to see that her friend had fallen asleep.

She switched on the radio, keeping the volume low, in an effort to not wake up Marzipan, but to cover up some of the gravely sounds from the road below. She slowed down, taking time to drive around the potholes so Marz could snooze in peace.

As the Subaru pulled up in front of the quiet passenger's house, Nico sighed. "Geez, Marz." Next to her, Marzipan still looked to be sleeping soundly.

"What do I do?"


	3. The Way I Am

There had always been little things that Nico did. Buying Marzipan trinkets or cool clothes that she saw that reminded her of them. Letting Marzipan borrow her jacket on cold desert nights, even if they already had one on. Scooting just a bit closer any time they were together. Holding their hand whenever they'd allow it. It was a compilation of little things she did to show her affection. Marzipan either ignored the romantic implications, or saw all those things as Nico just being extremely friendly. Either way, it had left Nico frustrated, and that was why she had finally asked her friend about their true feelings on their relationship.

It made things complicated. Nico had hoped that Marzipan wouldn't make a big deal out of it, but, as she had suspected, Marz was secretly making a big deal about it. She was a bit more wary of Nico's physical affections now. She cancelled on their plans more often than usual. Even though they wouldn't say it, Nico could tell that she was being avoided. She knew she had other friends that she could spend time with, but Marz had never been the best at making friends and Nico suspected they might be their only one. That made Marzipan avoiding her even more concerning.

Nico had always seemed to pay a lot of attention to the things Marzipan liked. If it was places, Nico had a knack for knowing the right days to go on an adventure and head somewhere new, and the days when it would be best to stay close to home. If it was physical items, somehow Nico could always pick out the perfect gifts to make her friend smile. And because her interest in Marzipan went beyond simply friendship, there were often times she'd surprised Marz with a gift for no reason other than to see them happy.

She couldn't really pinpoint when her feelings for Marzipan had grown beyond friendship. But when she fell in love, she'd fallen hard. There was a whole highschool of people that Nico could have crushed on, but no. No, it had to be the person she was closest to, her best friend, somebody who had no interest in pursuing something more. It was torture, blissful suffering.

Things hadn't been the same since the confession in the park or the incident at Sonic. Marzipan knew that they were being irrational about the whole thing. But with their own emotions so out of control and confusing, they couldn't figure out how Nico could possibly be so certain that she could keep hers until control.

And yet, the more Marzipan thought about it, the more they started to realize something. Even if they hadn't been aware of it before, they really liked that Nico cared about them so much. Maybe her caring went beyond simple friendship. Well, obviously it did, because she'd said so. But was that really so bad? Marzipan liked spending time with her, and she'd never been opposed to all the little ways Nico went out of her way to make them feel at ease whenever they were together.

It wouldn't hurt to try… would it? Everything that had happened so far in their friendship- well, what Marzipan had considered friendship, and what Nico had hoped was something more- had been nice and comfortable. And Nico had said she always wanted things to stay that way. Marzipan had to admit that maybe they just didn't understand how this relationship thing was supposed to go. Maybe that's why it was such a scary step. It was all so new and so much for them to take in. That didn't mean that it was bad, and maybe Nico could help them learn what all of these unpredictable feelings meant.

So the next time they got together, Marzipan had a confession to make to their friend. "I think I want to try. Being more than friends, I mean. Maybe it won't be for me. I don't really know, it's not something I've done. But I feel like, if there's anyone in this world that could help me try and figure things out, it's you. I'm worried that maybe it won't be for me. If I change my mind and don't like it, will that be okay?"

Nico grinned, leaning back against one of their favorite trees to sit under in the park. "Marz, you're my best friend. That'll never change. No matter what we go through together. I want you to be happy. That's what matters most to me. So no pressure on anything, okay?"

"Yeah." Marzipan breathed a sigh of relief. They couldn't figure out what they were still afraid of. Nico hadn't given them any reason to be. Maybe it was just the newness of it all, the uncertainty of emotions and what course of action to take next. "So what now?" They ventured.

"Come sit next to me?" Nico asked. Marzipan agreed, getting up from their spot on the grass to join their friend by the tree. There wasn't anything special or different about this activity. Perhaps things wouldn't really change too drastically after all. And perhaps this whole dating thing wouldn't really change a thing.


	4. Just What I Needed

"Hey Nico… What is love like? For you?"

Desert stretched out for miles without a city in site as the pair drove along the famous Route 66. Marzipan had popped the question out of the blue, and Nico stammered for a few moments before she could compose an answer.

"Well, it hurts a whole damn lot." she finally spouted. "Well, there's more to it than that. I guess it's like… wanting to protect someone. I mean, that's a big part of it, for me. Everybody has different ways they experience it though, you know? If I love someone, I want to hold them all the time. There's just so much to feel."

"That's it?" Marzipan replied, skeptically.

Nico cracked a smile. "There's so much to it, it's hard to summarize. Whenever you see the person you love, your heart starts beating faster. Sometimes it's hard to breath. You want hold their hand and be near them and cuddle them and make sure that they're always warm and cook them nice meals. You want to surprise them with nice things and take them to visit cool places. All the places you go and all the things you do, you always wish they could be there with you so you could share your joy. It's like you can't be entirely happy without them there- because what if you're having fun and you're happy, and at that moment, they're not?" Nico sighed, something halfway between bliss and relief, as if all this might have been something she'd wanted to get off her chest for awhile.

Before Marzipan could say or ask anything else, she continued. "And like, whenever you're apart, whenever you can't see them, you always worry if they're okay and if everyone is treating them right. And if someone doesn't treat them right, you just want to fight whoever it is for messing with the person you love. The whole thing just… makes you crazy. Do you know what I'm talking about?" Nico suspected that Marzipan didn't love her in quite the same ways that she loved Marzipan. But that was okay. Like she'd said, everybody experienced love in their own ways.

"Not really. Maybe. I don't know." Marzipan shrugged.

"So what do you think it is like? For you?" Nico questioned. Marzipan had admitted she was interested in exploring their relationship further, perhaps delving into romance, and yet she still seemed so reluctant. Normally Nico could read people well, but she was having trouble figuring out if Marzipan was really being honest about the whole thing.

Marzipan gave their answers slowly and directly. "I guess, just, maybe, holding hands. Sitting on the couch and watching movies. Exploring new places. Showing each other memories of childhood. Being warm. Moving in together."

"Moving in together is usually a big step." Nico laughed. "But for some people, that part does happen pretty fast. You know, I wouldn't mind moving in together with you someday, Marz. Even just as friends. But then you'd be sharing the space with someone else and maybe that's not your style. I know I like your company. But I don't know if you'd like mine enough to want to be around me more often than just a few days a week." she looked over at Marzipan, than took her hand and grabbed theirs. "Is this okay?"

"I did say this is what love is, didn't I?" They shrugged again.

Nico sighed. "Well, yeah. But it's also a mutual partnership, you know? Making sure the other person consents and all that. Even for the simple things." she gave Marz's hand a light squeeze.

Marzipan squeezed back, and Nico started running a gentle thumb across the top of their hand. "How long have you been in love with me?" They queried.

"Oh. Ah." Nico faltered at the question. There was quiet for a few minutes in the vehicle as it rumbled along the road. "I'm not sure when it happened, but at some point I just realized I was in love with you. I wanted to tell you for a long time. I wanted to be honest with you, so badly. But I was scared of fucking up our friendship. I was scared that you would think that all the nice things I've done for you were only done because I was trying to get something more from you. Because that's not true! Even if you never returned my feelings in a romantic way, and even if you change your mind now, you'll still be my friend. I'll still care about you." she breathed a sigh of relief, like this confession was something she'd been holding in for awhile.

Marzipan was silent, thinking about all the things that Nico had said about love. They thought about how they'd never quite felt all those same things But they did really like being around Nico. Hanging out, going for long car rides, visiting Denny's at late evening hours, watching the stars in the desert, hanging out at the park, getting coffee. Her friend had mentioned there were different kinds of love, and that everybody experienced it in different ways. So how was Marzipan supposed to figure out what ways were exactly theirs?

"Earth to Marzipan!" Nico called out.

"What? Sorry." Marzipan looked flustered.

"You okay?" Nico sounded concerned. She always seemed to have a layer of worry in her voice on many occasions when she spoke to Marzipan.

"Yeah." They replied, though they didn't sound certain of the reply themself.

"Okay." Nico had learned long ago that when Marzipan wanted to clam up, even if they were distressed, there was no getting any information out of them. "Hey, want to head back? Get some coffee?"

Her friend seemed to visibly relax at the suggestion of doing something familiar. "Yes. That sounds good."

"Want to make it our first official date?" Nico prompted.

"Sure. Why not?" Marzipan let go of her hand to nervously run theirs through their hair.

"Great. Then I'll get to buy so I can treat my new partner." she smiled. It was almost like she knew that Marz would say yes, and had been planning this response.

Marzipan smiled too. This wasn't the first time Nico had treated them. It wasn't really so different from what they'd done before. Maybe this wouldn't be so hard to figure out after all. Maybe this whole time, falling in love had been coming naturally, and they hadn't realized it.

They looked to Nico, realizing that they'd always thought she was really pretty. They'd always just assumed they thought their friend was attractive, but maybe it had been more than that for a long time, without them even noticing it. They grabbed for Nico's hand again, and even though she kept her eyes on the road, Marzipan could see her smile grow wider, and could hear her happily sigh.

The two may have been on an uncertain path, but who better to fall in love with than your best friend?


	5. Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nico is really gay.

Nico had been trying her best to take things slowly for Marzipan's sake. But she'd had her emotions bottled up for so long, it was difficult to contain them once Marzipan had expressed interest in furthering their relationship. The last thing she wanted to do was to hurt her best friend, but even after they admitted they wanted to try out dating, they still seemed to send mixed signals, and Nico struggled to keep up.

For Marzipan, it was different and new. They now had someone holding their hand very frequently. It was all skin on skin contact and thrilling shivers and smoothness. Little shoulder nudges and back rubs and strong hugs. There had even been a couple times when Nico had planted a gentle peck on their cheek or forehead. They were warm and left a tingle where her lips had been. It left Marz thinking about the closeness all night.

"Have you ever dated anyone before?" Nico and Marzipan had a lot of talks together, so such a question wasn't really surprising. They told each other nearly everything about themselves, assuming the other was interested.

"Ah, a couple of times, but nothing serious." She chucked a rock into the pond in front of them. The weather was cool enough today to spend outside.

"What's that… like?" Marzipan pressed for more information.

Nico found it odd that Marz would ask such a question, especially since the two of them were… involved. "Well, it's different every time."

Marzipan looked confused. "What does that mean?"

Their friend let out a heavy sigh. "Remember when I explained what love is? It's kind of like that. But at the same time, it takes different forms with different people. Different feelings towards them. I don't know, Marz. I have a lot of love to give to a lot of people." She put an arm around her partner as she continued.

"It's wanting to lay your head on someone's chest so you can hear their heartbeat. Wanting to know what a person smells like, after a shower, in the morning, after work, all the time. Wanting to take every bit of that person in, absorb them into a part of yourself. Running your fingers through their hair-" she demonstrated by gently starting to caress Marz's head, "-and staring at the color of their eyes."

Marzipan didn't get the chance to even ponder the response before Nico continued. "It's wanting to fall asleep spooning, holding them in your arms. Waking up and having that special person still there. Having them snuggled against your chest with your chin resting on their head. Curling up as close as possible and squeezing them tightly."

Nico was still far from finished. "When it rains you make soup together and sit in the living room with your legs under the coffee table while watching some cheesy movie. Eventually you crawl up on the couch and somehow one of you ends up laying on top of the other because you both want to lay down but couches don't have enough room for that. Your breathing syncs and it's just such a calming feeling."

She took a breath and sighed. The two were quiet, Nico debating about saying more, and Marzipan trying to figure out if those were things that they wanted too. Nico eventually continued. "It's going on walks in the middle of the night when neither of us can sleep. Or the times when we both wake up and can't go back to sleep and just want to enjoy the silence of it all and being alone and feeling like we're the only two people that exist in the universe. Holding hands and stealing kisses and for a few moments, not having to share that person with anyone else in the world."

"And it's also-" she seemed to be on a roll with this, "-Watching each others favorite movies and listening to each others favorite music and visiting our favorite places together and trying each other's favorite foods. It's listening to the other person gush all about the things they love and care about, and wanting to love those things too."

Nico finally breathed a sigh. "There's just so much, Marz. It's so many wonderful amazing feelings, all directed towards one person."

"Damn." Marzipan leaned into Nico's hand, which was still caressing their hair. "That all does sound nice."

"And it's all stuff we can do together." Nico planted a kiss on Marz's cheek. "Well, what we haven't done as friends already. Except now it's actually gay."

"You're gay!" Marzipan retorted.

"That is the idea." Nico chuckled.

The two didn't calculate how long they'd spent sitting in front of the water. It didn't matter. They were together, and for the first time things felt like they fit. At least, that's how they felt for Nico. For Marzipan, there was still a range of emotions they were trying to sort out. But friends, or more than friends, Nico was a comfort, and Marzipan couldn't help but be afraid of losing her.


End file.
